loader image

Boris and Rishi’s self-isolation dodge attempt was so galling

It’s hard to talk about the government at the moment without venturing into the realm of parody.

It gets to a point where satire begins to write itself and this government is doing a better job than Armando Ianucci did with ‘The Thick of It’.

This government does more U-turns than a learner driver on a country road before GPS existed.

So the latest incident involved Prime Minister Boris Johnson and Chancellor Rishi Sunak putting out a statement on Sunday morning saying they were going to be using a pilot scheme to avoid self-isolation after coming into contact with Health Secretary Sajid Javid who had tested positive for Covid.

Cue a massive backlash from us average Joes, hundreds of thousands of whom are self-isolating like, erm, the Government had told us to.

One about-face a short time later, and the term ‘one rule for one, one rule another’ seemed to be the mantra our politicians chant each morning when they wake up.

I imagine Michael Gove letting of a deep resonant hum, like some sort of Gregorian chant, throughout the empty halls of Westminster.

This eerie sound is of course let out in order to rouse the others from their slumber.

I imagine Jacob Rees-Mogg sitting up straight to this politician’s hymn, with his arms lain across his body like a vampire rising from his coffin, before pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and snorting like an Etonian piglet.

I can see Rishi Sunak tumbling out of his bed of money to join in on the morning chorus.

Javid calling Johnson in order to make sure he’s actually gotten up in time for work, let alone the hymnal chant.

All of them gathering in an empty corridor of Westminster, to bring their masonic anthem to an end and agree on what facts and what truth-massaging ought to be told that day.

I can imagine the scenes when they all realised that they got pinged by the track and trace app and quickly gathering to discuss how they can break the rules they’ve enforced on us. “Ah! I know!”

Boris would exclaim, “Why don’t we use that pilot scheme thingy that Govey-boy used when he got pinged?”

A guffaw would ring out as they all rubbed their hands together like cartoon villains.

Of course, they backtracked on this pretty quickly, but the attempt itself is bad enough. The utter gall of it. The complete duplicity.

I, by no means, think that being a politician is easy, especially during a pandemic, but I they are paid extremely well to not deceive the people who voted them in.

And in light of what Westminster’s Iago (Cummings) has recently said, it sounds like popularity outweighs truth and integrity. But unfortunately, has it ever been any other way?